MY DOG 'SEX'
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy" .
I call mine "Sex". He's a great pal, but he has
caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told
the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said,
"I'd like one too!"
Then, I said, "But this is a dog"
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then, I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex
since I was 9 years old."
He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took
the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted
a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "you don't need a special room. As long as you
pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said , "Look,
you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Funny--I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the
competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant
asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed.
I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told
me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand,"
I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable
is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight
for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before
I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional.
Stick to the case, please."
Then, I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said,
"Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over
town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing
in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was
looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.
Note: This is the most often requested piece for the Ann Landers
Column. I can see why......<wink>....:)